Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A child returns..

I returned to the plains of Ganges, to the place I was born after a long time. It was a misty cold day.. and we left early in the morning. Yes, it was one of the hundreds of trip to Muzaffarpur, a sleepy small town in Bihar, from Patna - the capital of Bihar. Still, this one was very different as I was going through this route after a long long time and that too by a private bus.

The day started early with my mother, uncle and I getting ready for the small journey at day break. I expected us to go in uncle's car and only realized that we would rather be going on a bus when we crossed the garage, crossed the lane where I was staying and moved to the main road for taking an auto. I decided to enjoy the trip as it made me nostalgic about the times when we used public transport in lieu of our private vehicles many many years ago.

The weather was cold. Since I was a bit underprepared for the open bus and auto ride, I wrapped my shawl tightly around myself.. ready to face the cold winds. We reached 'Gai Ghaat', a place near the bank of ganges from where the buses for Muzaffarpur start. To my discomfort, while climbing down the auto I realized the floor of the auto was not less than 2.5 feet above the ground. Rather than finding a footing for myself while getting down, I found my feet falling towards greater depth and almost stumbled and bumped my head in the process as well. Well.. so much for the start of an amazing journey.

As soon as we climbed the stairs to the bridge across Ganga, we found a 'Video Coach' waiting to leave for our destination. But to our disappointment, the seats were all full and there was enough place for only one person to sit. We decided to wait for the next bus which was by the way no where in sight. While we were still mulling over us being late, the conductor yelled at us 'Aa jaiye, du tho seat aur hai.. bus tanik kasht hoga bench pe baithne mein' - translated as -'Come here, two seats are available, just that it will be a bit tough to sit on the bench'.

'Bench'?? My mind raced - how come a 'bhideo coach' had bench instead of normal seats. The conductor was perceptive enough to see my confusion and clarified -'We have put a bench in the aisle. Once the bus starts, it will only stop in Muzaffarpur. So, you two women can sit on the bench'. WHAT?? An almost 2 hour journey on a bench in a crammed space?? Heck - Why not??

My adventurous spirit was excited - wow - an experience of a lifetime is what you will get. Do not let this opportunity pass and I asked my mom and uncle to board the 'Bhideo coach' with a bench.

We were the last people to board the bus and to my horror and amazement, the bench occupied almost the whole width of the aisle. There was hardly any space to even put your legs. I decided to mount it by keeping my two legs at both sides where as my mom sat gingerly and uncomfortable with both the legs on the same side.

The bus started its journey from the 'Gai Ghat' bus stand on Mahatma Gandhi Setu. The bumps that we felt in next five minutes are worthy of hours on camels or horses or on even jeeps plying on roads with only potholes as the sole feature. And every time the bus jumped, our bench moved an extra inch in both sideways and upward direction. That was PAINFUL but exhilarating.

Seeing the plight of two women, a young and another one old, few generous men asked us to come to the comforts of back seats and took our places on that rickety bench. We initially refused but they insisted -'Ladhiej logon ko kasht ho raha hai, hum kaise aaram se baith sakte hain'. I was touched by their genuine concern. We exchanged seats and now my mom and I were seated in 5 seater with 7 people on it. But the cold made it bearable and we did not mind the crammed seatings.

We crossed the Ganges in the mean time. It is still as beautiful as I remember it from my childhood - Vast, serene, hazy in the distance, bending into beautiful curves like a belly dancer. I was mesmerized by the width of the Ganges. Its water was overflowing and the river looked like a part of horizon itself. No wonder, it is a revered river in India. The feelings it evokes can only be felt in the presence of something holy.

The MG bridge is one of the longest bridge in India. Infact it is the longest bridge in India on a river. Crossing the Ganges, we reached Hajipur - a place very famous for its banana. I am yet to taste a banana more filling and sweet as the 'petbharua kela' of hajipur or as tasty as 'Harichhal kela'.

While crossing Hajipur, I was my chattery self. I was amazed at the progress that has happened in the area in recent years. Nitish Kumar has surely brought a lot of changes in Bihar, and it was very apparent from the state of the road connecting Muzaffarpur and Patna that he has delivered on his promise to a great extent. I started talking to my mom about the way Nitish Kumar has earned respect from not only biharis in and out of bihar but also all over the country. Two people joined me in my talks and expressed their views on politics, bihar, Lalu, Nitish and the current state of things.

There was one thing clear to me - Politics evokes great emotions in the people of bihar and now they are ready to accept and vote for a leader who can work for them and not just uses them. All the men around me had huge respect for the current CM of Bihar and they were full of hope that they will see their motherland progress a great deal in years to come. I liked their energy, their passion and love for their land. I felt at home - with my own people. I only realized that I was as involved as the men sitting beside me, when the conductor informed we have reached Ramdayalu, the bus stop where we had to get down. It was hard to believe that a journey of one and a half hour was over and it seemed not even half an hour to me.

I bade farewell to the two gentlemen and thanked them for discussing their views with us. It was very refreshing to come back to my soil, my people. I was finally HOME.. a child with dreams and hope twinkling again in her eyes.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Verdict

Finally its declared that on 30th September, 2010, special bench of Lucknow High Court will finally give the verdict on Ayodhya dispute. Media channels are trying their best to sensationalize the news and people are lapping up the spicy details.

Some facts about the dispute:
1. Start: Supposedly it started the day Babar constructed a mosque at the site. There is no evidence of a dispute back then
2. Modern times : As early as the second half of 19th century, the dispute between two communities erupted again.
3. In 20th century, this issue was used to gain political edge by different parties and thousands of people were sacrificed at the altar of politics and none of the so called leaders had a tear to spare.

Few questions are there which have bothered me since I was a child and was quite ignorant of the politics involved and could only see the repercussion.

A. Are we so inhuman that for us a religious place is more important than thousand lives?
B. Are we such idiots who do not realize even after decades that this is not about religion at all but about some vested interests getting mileage out of of this issue? ( I still remember being proud of the fact that was taught to me in school - All religions are good, God is One and no religion encourages violence)
C. Isn't it all worth being ashamed of?

When communal peace is disturbed, I feel ashamed of both the parties involved... coz I feel insulted by the fact that we call ourselves intelligent and yet fall party to such violence. NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING justifies killing or hurting someone unless for self defense.

When the court is about to deliver a long pending judgment, I see signs of nervousness around me. People are suddenly talking in whispers and are having suspicious looks. No one wants a repeat of '92 riots or any other kind of clashes. We are suddenly so afraid of the verdict that somehow it feels ironic to me.. a verdict is supposed to bring justice, make people believe in a system which will give them a fair deal.. and we are afraid of that.. Really how far we have come along the path of self destruction.

I do not know how things will turn out after 2 days but as of this day, I am sad and hurt .. of the fact that today we have started distrusting the people we have lived all our lives with.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Marraiges made in heaven.. but lived on earth

The subject for this post was brewing in my mind for quite sometime now and what I present here is followed after a discussion with many subjects, most of them are women.

Why do women marry? or for that matter men?


To just provide an objective picture, I would share some data as well.

I surveyed around 30+ people in the age group 25 to 55 and I asked them the same question - Why did you marry and in case you are still not married, why do you think you should marry?

I would also talk a bit about the demographics. Out of those 30 odd people almost 60% were women and 3 women were homemakers. Out of the men I have interviewed, all of them were below 40 and each one of them was earning. The men and women were all city dwellers and around 70% were married and 30% unmarried.

Now, something very interesting came up in my research.

Men usually said it in more or less the same terms - they needed someone to share their life with, to find support in a partner - physical as well as mental and in some cases it was to extend their family, continue their legacy as well.

In contrast to this, responses from women were much more interesting. Most of them married because they had to (60% of all women interviewed), some of them married because they were afraid they would grow old alone, some of them needed companionship and some needed an institution to legalize sex. Well, these responses are much more varied than the responses given by men which hovered around the romantic associations of a marriage.

Now, let us analyze these responses one by one. Men said they needed companionship - does this mean they value companionship above everything else including sex. I doubt (am a woman - this skepticism is acceptable ). Infact, one of the men responded merrily - I was having sex anyways. Why would I marry just for it? Does this mean men are more flirtatious and have casual sex than women? Probably yes or probably not. It might also be reflecting the way our social fabric is woven - A man even though might not be indulging in casual sex but it is more acceptable for him if he chooses to do so. Whereas, women more often than not needed commitment in the form of marriage from the person they have sex with. Exception exist but that is not the normal course of action a woman takes. Hence, it is important for woman to marry to have the PERMIT for sex with her husband.

Men romanticized the idea of marriage more than women. Does this mean they are softer in heart than they actually show? Might be.... But one thing is clear, lesser men marry because they had to. They were not under extreme pressure as were some women I interviewed to get married or rather in normal language 'SETTLED'. Many of the men did marry coz their friends got married and they couldn't find a person to go out with on weekends. It was loneliness which drove them rather than love or some kind of high, lofty ideas.

One thing I found common across both genders - they both were afraid of being lonely. Women more so but even men had insecurities. I can safely say that rather than some lofty, grand ideas of marriage, its practical necessity to have someone share your life with and getting social sanction while doing the same, was the main reason behind most of the people deciding to get married. Now, whether they have achieved what they expected from this new chapter in their lives, is a matter for another post. Keep looking out for more.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Agree to Disagree

"We agree to disagree with each other." How many people do you find with this attitude? Atleast I am not lucky in this respect, I admit.

This is one thought am dwelling upon these days. I have observed people from different strata of society and found this as common - their unwillingness to experiment with disagreement. It is very easy to agree with someone but to disagree, you not only need conviction in your beliefs but also a healthy respect for every other beliefs, however diverging those can be from the ones u hold dear.

I have found myself disagreeing with people on the disagreement issue lately. Somehow, I find this limitation for our own intellectual growth and when I tell it to people, they get offended. We take everything so personally. If I tell someone I do not appreciate some part of a movie and am perfectly OK if someone else finds it awesomely awesome, I am considered as a person who has challenged some kind of collective wits. I really don't know what the fuss is all about. I very well am entitled to have my own opinions and am willing to agree for a disagreement. Then why do people consider it a case of treading out of the line.

They do accept your disagreement under two conditions : 1. U are in an authoritative position and they can not AFFORD to disagree with u (this is an assumption they have). 2. They just do not want to get on ur wrong side ( you are perceived as a fierce person). 3. They do not have the time or energy to pursue the disagreement ( I know this is the 3rd one even when I mentioned there are only two conditions. So what!! Live with it :) )

Belonging to a culture which is very adaptive, coming from Indian, this resistance is somewhat surprising for me. Well, I can attribute our innate sense to agree mostly to our non-conflicting attitude. But then what might be the reason for being so defensive or possessive against non-confirmation? Aren't we being the opposite of what we set out to achieve in the very first place? I find this a paradox which is so very evident yet, unchallenged. And yeah am getting a kick out of challenging it :) .. me the restless soul :).. me the rebel :).

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Where Dream merges into reality - Inception personified

Dreams and Reality are separated by a thin line of consciousness. The debate that goes on in everyone's mind is - Are we living our dreams or is it a reality. Our thoughts and actions if define us, then aren't all of us dreaming.. as its our dreams which are thoughts translated into tangible forms. Am i going obtruse? May be or may be not.. who knows other than my innermost thought and consciousness. The point is - can I or someone else can be consciously a part of my subconscious mind?

Christopher Nolan did a wonderful job in confirming one view of mine - he gave a canvas to something I found too weird to even express it to someone. I had so many deja-vu s in life that somehow I had no other choice but to attribute each one of those to some dream of mine. If answering honestly, yes - I do dream about some future event. I do not know how and why but it has happened more than once and I can no longer attribute it to my fancy. Dreams into dreams is a reality for me.. I have woken up in my dreams to find out that I need to wake up once again to be back to life. I do not remember most of the events that happen in those dreams - not even my immediate dream but I get this vague feeling that things are changed.

Seems like am repeating the concept of Inception - but no, this is my reality and it existed much before CN even came into movie making. I have solved numerous complex mathematics problems in my dream, learnt how to ride a bicycle and knew the solutions to more complex emotional issues after a dreamy sleep. Yes, even today I sleep over issues am not able to solve and I know I will know the answers when I get up. This is my subconscious working while am sleeping physically. I dream about a reality and it manifests itself into the real world. I do get inspired by my dreams.. I get pained by them..

Inception made me question one thing - are my dreams real or are they my subconscious response to all my perceptions. Do they move in a random order or is there some architect who has designed my dream for me? Is there an alternate reality within my dreams? Why do some of the times I know whats going to happen next because I have seen the action take part years or days ago in my dream? I do not have answers to these - I do not believe I have any kind of psychic power. I do not even know whether it happens to most of the people or am I one of the few.

Well... I think about it right now and the only thing I can conclude is : I do not understand it and I do not even want to. This weirdness is a part of me and that's it. No more conscious dwelling on the issue.. "Inception is for real or not" :)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Waka Waka - This time for Afrika


Football Mania 2010 has gripped the whole world. In this times, when we all are busy sorting our own problems out, we have a gaming event which has untied us all in its passion, its action and its enchanting liveliness. Yes, world cup 2010 has perspectives as it never had before. Few of the reasons I feel this world cup is closer to me than any I have ever witnessed :
1. This is a trying time for all of us. We face terrorism, nuclear warheads, poverty, energy crisis, crime rates and what not. It seems that the end of the world is near and in such a time, we are witnessing an event which has brought us all closer to each other. We are here crying together over a missed goal, shrieking with joy over a head butt and groaning together each time there is a near miss. How beautiful it is to hug a stranger from a different continent sitting beside me without any prejudice or ill feeling.
2. This time for Afrika - Africa as a continent has been neglected for too long. Whoever went there, it was only for the continent's abundance. Aids, famine, poverty, lack of education, health issues...... these are few of the grim realities of this beautiful continent. World Cup 2010 has brought a pride to this land. They are hosting a world event and now getting the attention of everyone to their problems. One goal - eradiaction of poverty through education is a cause which is synonymous with this year game.
3. Players and History - It has been a long time since we have seen the likes of Maradona or Pele on football ground. The whole world is waiting for another legend and wishing that this world cup gives birth to one. I have my prayers too.. Amen. :)
4. Reach - This is the world cup with maximum reach ever. Internet and 3G networks along with satellite TVs have made it possible for everyone to follow this fever.. whatever be the time zone. And being in India where the match timings are usually past midnight, it has become very easy to watch the best moments without missing out on work.
5. The biggest reason of it all - I am missing any kinda action and nothing is better than Football to make my adrenaline rush :).

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Mamta Banerjee - A new hope for West Bengal

This post has been inspired by the recent debacle of left in Kolkata Muncipal elections. TMC has come out as a force to reckon and more importantly is the "People's choice". Personally, I interviewed atleast a dozen of people belonging to very low income group and found that they were unanimous in their decision. Why? And pat came the answer - "Mamta di amar kashto boojhbe"; "Didi amar sonkat door korte hobe".. all eyes are now on "Didi" to fix things up. Being a non-bengali I had to take some time out to analyze what goes beneath this trust. Is it for real and deserved or just a reaction to apathy of the left.. ?? I am here on an exploration trip and would try to do justice to my journey.

Mamta Banerjee - Iron lady of bengal, was born on 5th January, 1955 in a not so affluent family in erstwhile Calcutta. She joined politics as a youth leader for Congress in 1970s. She quickly rose to higher ranks and in 1984 became one of the youngest parliamentarians after beating Somnath Chatterjee. She has remained highly visible in the national political landscape since those times.

Now, a bit of analysis - She has time and again, vociferously protested against whatever she thinks is not ideologically correct. She is seen as a "Clean" and "Honest" politician, a feat achieved by very few present day leaders. She chooses to live simply and has gone against her own party (most of the cases it was Congress(I) or NDA ) to ask for what is right.

Will she be able to live upto the promises Mamta has made to the people of bengal and to India? Only time will tell, but people of kolkata have given out their verdict They want to give an eccentric, vocal but honest leader a chance to change their state. More than three decades is a long enough time for left to prove it could not help bengal much.. now its upto Didi to show what her true mettle is.

PS: The analysis is far from over. For more on politics in West Bengal, look out for posts soon.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Naxalbari - A home of cries which silenced many lives

"75 people killed in the train accident: Sabotage from Naxalite suspected"; "75 Army personals killed in an ambush with Naxalites" ;

Are these the headlines which people of Naxalbari want to wake up daily to read? Or are there so many illiterates in the birthplace of the terror called Naxal movement that no one bothers reading these headlines?

As many as as 455 people have been killed in Naxal violence since 2009, more than half of which are innocent civilians. Isn't it right to compare it with terrorism in Kashmir which has resulted in loss of 377 lives in last one year?

Now the question comes - Who are these Naxalites? What is the thing that they want to achieve? How fair are they in their means? Shouldn't they be treated with same sense of disgust with which we treat any other terrorist group?

We as the people of India, and specially as those who are supporting this violent movement should introspect and find out the answers to these questions. No doubt the questions will only be answered when every concerned person can have a clear conscience.

Naxalite movement originated due to the absence of any other means of peaceful protest. But today it has become a means to show that guns are mightier than any respect for a human life. Naxalbari, the home of cries against oppression has become a synonym for deathly tragedies in many lives. Has the movement fulfilled what it had begun to achieve? Is violence the only solution to gain freedom from oppression of any kind - be it by the government or the wealthy, high class people?

How many more lives are to be thrown away before anyone could talk sense - be it an inept, insensitive government trying to handle the violence without success or naxal groups justifying killing of innocent people for the sake of ideologies? How long will the people have to live with the blood bath??

Shouldn't world be a better place for everyone to live in??

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Wines and Tea - How similar yet different

Lately I started having interest in all kinds of beverages.. alcoholic and non-alcoholic. My love is still pure and cool WATER but drinks fascinate me. Infact the entire gamut of food and drink is such an exploratory field.

I have started reading more about Tea- a drink I liked since a long time. The delicate taste, invigorating aroma and the difference minute details can make in the taste of tea is so subtle yet complex... it challenges me in a way... to explore. There is just another drink like that.. Wine.

Tea and Wine are two different drinks but with many similarities. Both are delicate drinks.. have more than a thousand variations and are complex to make. Both are sensually stimulating experience and when paired with the right food, provide an awesome sensory pleasure. And may be its just a coincidence that both have been proved to have a positive effect on health.

Tea as well as Wine are ceremonial drink. They make every occasion worth a celebration and attach a significance to it. In many parts of the world, there are elaborate customs woven around both the drinks.

Wine as everyone knows is an alcoholic drink, though the percentage of alcohol is quite less than a bottle of cough syrup. Tea on the other hand has caffeine and nicotine not to mention tannin. Tea can be soothing as well as stimulating. Wine on the other hand makes a person more relaxed and slightly inebriated.

In my previous post I had written few basic things about tea. I will be writing my next post about Wines most probably with a light cup of Earl Grey or Jasmine Tea in my hand.