Amsterdam : Fire Up!!

It is Amsterdam that reminds me of fire.. passion and life. And no, not just because of it being the sex and drugs capital of the world! (well to certain extent they do play a part ;)).

A visit to this city in Autumn is best explained with visuals as no word can compare.

How can you NOT think of Fire when those orange, yellow and red leaves blow around you. How can you NOT feel DEEP.. even if you are one not naturally inclined to.

How do you NOT feel the bliss!!

A walk in any lane of Amsterdam is sure to make you smile. Countless canals and bridges.. building overlooking and probably turned solid because of being narcissist (they deserve to be narcissist I will admit).

Of course you can never visit Amsterdam and NOT goto IAMSTERDAM sign. Its a place though crowded lies in between two of the best museums in the city.

Rijksmuseum is the biggest and best museum in town which showcases not just the art of Holland but of world over.

It has one of the largest collection of impressionist paintings that took the world by storm (atleast art world) in late 19th and early 20th Century.



It also houses one of the sexiest library I have seen. All book lovers are going to agree with the adjective to some degree atleast.



Not to mention it is the best showcase for Rembrandt, an artist brilliant.



Van Gogh Museum is is just across Rijksmuseum and is another side and sadly has NO PHOTOGRAPHY policy.

As I walked through the lanes of the city in warm sunlight (thanks to brilliant weather), I was amazed by how beautiful even wooden broken sliders looked. Probably it was to do with brilliant colors making me crazy :P.

One of the most noticeable thing as soon as you land in Amsterdam central is the Dam square. A short walk from the railway station (which has a beautiful building too), you land at a square which has Madam Tussad's museum on one side, Grand Palace on another and numerous cafes all around. The vibrancy and warmth of the place is unmatched (specially if you land there in afternoon when it is balmy)

If you decide to treat yourself with some "Shrooms", make sure you either do it in the Vondel Park or while roaming around the streets. You can either enjoy the beauty of nature magnified thousandfold or watch cobbled streets come to life with immensely rich foliage, sparkling canals and beautiful buildings.

I can hardly describe the beauty in Vondel Park. I found it to be the most beautiful place.. a serene getaway from all hustle and bustle right in the heartland of the city.

Another colorful place is stins flower market. You can buy all your souvenirs at the best prices all while enjoying gathering of flowers. (yeah all types of flowers ;))

Do not miss a canal ride (though it might bore you a bit) if you land at Amsterdam. Watching Amsterdam life go by from a different view point is surely a treat.

Last but not the least, enjoy yourself to the fullest while in the city. Be it Sex museum  or live sex show to tick off your bucket list or fun pub-crawls... or just enjoying your smoke by one of the numerous canals... I am sure you will find something that moves you.. that makes you marvel at the beauty all around. Architecture, art, performance, music, history, controversy.. you name it, this city has it. So taste the forbidden fruits of the world (well not so forbidden any more:P.. atleast not while you are in AMSTERDAM).

P.S. If you ever come to AMSTERDAM, listen to this while you soak in the feeling!! (Shout out to all retro music fan out there!!)

Unbearable lightness of being

The golden lights bathed me
In the warm heady shower of bliss
Oh yes.. I was alive and kicking
Was the only thought that crossed my mind

Of course it was not perfect
But who wants perfect at all
The pale blue sky could always be bluer
Sunshine could always be warmer

The houses were lined in a curvy line
Some with views beautiful
Some not so but who cares
When the crisp air surrounds you with feelings abound

I felt light as a leaf
Floating around with the gushes of air
Tentatively settling on the branch bent slight
And unbearably light became my being

Shaken not stirred

Here I am .. writing after a long long time. And yes, it is because I am yet again on an emotional roller coaster (I am sure by now everyone has seen the pattern).

It started off as just another vacation day. Took my own sweet time to wake up and move my "Tashreef ka Tokra" to the touristy spot in Brussels. A morning and afternoon well spent though a bit disappointing. Evening was not too frantic with timely arrival for the high speed train Thalys. A fast and comfortable ride from Brussels to Paris was sweetened when I found out that wifi was freely available on train. A small journey of 1.5 hours was mainly spent connecting with friends and family over skype/ watsapp.

I couldn't have asked for a better day when my host at airbnb in Paris told me that his friend will come and pick me up from the railway station. I was thankful and impressed by the hospitality.

But things started to go wrong as soon as I got down the train. I tried contacting my host's friend but without success. Even the host was unable to contact him. Exasperated he asked me to take a metro to the address I was supposed to stay at. After quite a few anxious minutes (the main metro line had some accident and hence was having trouble), I somehow managed to board a metro on orange line from Garu De Nord (Paris Nord). I was supposed to change to Deep Blue line at Barbes-Rochechouart and then at Place De Clichy change to Light Blue line.

It was business as usual at Barbes- Rochechouart when I got down. Oh boy I didn't know what exactly was business as usual. While changing the lines, I was trying to read up the station name properly (Paris has such unpronounceable names even of it's stations) while I got on the escalator. I somehow pulled my suitcase over the narrow (single person width) escalator and as soon as I straightened up, a guy in a grey hoodie rushed past me while snatching my phone. I shouted loud and some of the passengers shouted as well.. but I was up ahead on the escalator. With a heavy suitcase blocking my way, I could not even rush down and run after the guy. I can not describe the sinking feeling I felt in those moments.

Suddenly the darkness (it was around 7:45 PM only) was pressing against me. Every passerby was a suspect.. out there to harm me. Those moments when I felt vulnerable and in danger can not be expressed in words. For few seconds I was in shock.. totally blank. For once I thought I should continue my journey and reach safety (read my host) as soon as possible. But the next second I decided I have to reach out to Police.

A country where I have just landed, throws its darkness at me and all I could think was - I need to fight back.. I have to keep my head. I was scared.. very scared. Suddenly every face looked harsh.. every look seemed creepy. I immediately came out of the station.

Without my phone, I could no longer connect with my host. In the big city of Paris, for once I was totally alone. I asked for directions to the nearest police station and chugged my luggage along. The sound of the wheels of my suitcase on concrete was too loud for my senses. My purse which I was clutching very tightly felt like the sole protection against big bad world. Never have I felt this vulnerable.

Police station was not too far off. I reached the station and almost mumbled everything to the two police officers standing at the door (police station was cordoned off and looked almost closed). One of the younger police officer (a mere boy of 20), could speak better English and tried to understand my situation. Thankfully I was carrying the print out of address and phone number of my host. The officer called my host and appraised him of entire situation. Since my host was at work, he requested the officer to book a cab for me. I also requested the same (I wanted to reach safety as soon as possible.. no matter the cost).

The officer booked the cab and while I was waiting for the cab, the two good souls (both police officers - the boy and a lady) tried to cheer me up. They did mention that the neighbourhood was bad and snatching was a common occurrence. I could only imagine a place that even Paris Police admitted to be notorious.

I could feel myself shaking all over. Once.. I was almost on the verge of tears. The feeling of helplessness and being alone in a big bad city had started to hit me in waves. I almost started to question my decision to visit Paris alone. Again, these two amazing Police officer came to my help. They ensured that while waiting for the Cab, I was not left on my own. The younger officer cracked jokes while both tried teaching me phrases in French. They even asked my age and the younger officer guessed it to be 17. I did manage to squeeze some genuine laughs with this new found company. I couldn't have been more thankful.

In the meantime, another police van stopped by the station and out came 3 criminals in handcuffs. I was once again terrified. When one of the guy stared at me while entering the police station, a chill ran down my spine. I could imagine every worst thing happening to me all at once.

The two police officers told me the process of filing a theft report the next day while waiting with me for the cab. Once the cab came over, they confirmed taxi fare and ensured that the driver understood the directions. With a warm wave, I bid those two unforgettable heroes farewell. They are my heroes as they made me feel comfortable and made me smile when it was almost impossible for me.

Story was not yet over by the way. The driver almost reached the location as indicated by his GPS but we were unable to locate the right building. I requested him to call the host which he did. Some conversation happened between then in French and my host told me how to enter the building.  The driver conveyed that he had understood the exact place and brought me to a building which had the wrong number. I was confused, terrified and exposed at the lane which looked darker to me than it probably was. The driver took my luggage off and asked for his fare. I insisted on not paying him till I find the building. Exasperated he tried finding the right one but guided me to a building which was on other side of the correct building. He forced me to pay him off and left me at 9:30 PM with no means of calling anyone in a lane which didn't have any person.

Thankfully, I heard a woman talking in another wing and when I reached there, I realised that I had reached the correct building. Relieved I rang the bell and received a positive response. Fortunately, the host's friend came down to receive me and I was spared further anxiety.

Finally I am here .. a bit calmer.. trying to pen down my thoughts and experience .. all the while trying to push scary feeling away. Somehow I am much in control of my emotions. I have realised one thing - tough and trying times bring out the stronger person in me. I was on the verge of break down couple of times throughout the evening.. but somehow found that strength to push on.. just a bit farther. I was definitely shaken.. but stirred I was not.

The Second Day in Paris:
Second Day in Paris started off with another incident. I decided to carry a knapsack around as had to buy a temporary phone and had to go to the Police station. My new found friend volunteered to accompany me as he wanted to help me settle in. We found a phone store nearby and all was OK again. Atleast I felt so for sometime. As soon as I got inside the metro, I found myself in a crowded area with people jostling all around. In the crowd I felt someone too close from behind. When I looked back, there was a lady who was trying to squeeze herself between the wall and me. She just passed me by. Immediately another lady mentioned that the lady who just passed me was a pickpocket and to my horror I saw chains of my knapsack halfway down. To my immediate relief, nothing was missing. I had covered my wallet (deep inside my bag) with my scarf and probably that did the trick. The pick pocket was not able to find my wallet. I was yet again rattled. I couldn't believe it was happening to me again. A sense of despair started to clutch me again. My company was a relief in such a situation. He comforted me as well as started to be more careful around me. The trip to police station turned out to be a waste as they did not file the complain but stamped a copy of the FIR and asked to me submit it to Indian embassy. When I contacted Indian embassy, the person on the other side clearly told me that even if I submit the report, they cannot do anything about it. It's a police matter and I should give up on my phone or any hope of getting it back.

Since now there was no point in wasting my time trying to reach embassy on time, we decided to see Sacre Coeur or Sacred Heart Basilica. My new found friend took me around the area and for once I forgot what I had faced till now and couldn't help but wonder at beauty of Paris.

Once I was back to my guest house, my host and his friend shared a nice warm dinner with me over few hours of talks. They also helped me plan my next couple of days with tips about how to be safe in the city. Hope to have a great day tomorrow and not to see the ugly side of Paris.

बंजर

सफर ये कैसा था
शायद लंबा सा और थोड़ा टेढ़ा सा
या छोटा सा लेकिन तनहा सा
कभी रास्ते ऊपर नीचे थे
कभी दूर तक मीलों सपाट
उन रास्तों पर थे तुम कभी
एक अचानक से मोड़ पर
जैसे खड़े हो चलने के लिए
और मैं चली थी तुम्हारे इंतज़ार में

आँखों ने सपने जो कभी बुने नहीं 

उनको उंगलियों के पोरों से उधेड़ा 

मोम के पंख पर सवार हो 

सूरज को पकड़ने उड़ान भरी 

जवाब माँगना तो था लेकिन 

सवालों का सन्नाटा भारी पड़ गया 

तुम्हारी आँखों में शिकायत तो नहीं थी 

क्योंकर कड़वापन सीने में उतर गया 

अश्क़ों का गीलापन दिल बंजर कर गया 

Proud

Eyes held those dreams
Of innocence and of magic
Belief was strong within
Someday..

A new dawn with promises many
Ah so naive
Laughter and mirth all around
Some tears in corner ignored

On went twin of hope and despair
Hand in hand
Illusion of reality
And reality of illusions

Couldnt see cracks in the mirror held
Blinded by the immeasurable faith
Vanity sought confirmation
And there it was.. a sounding one

The loudness was deafening
In the silence that followed
A rude awakening ushered
Engulfing the very soul

Proud it was of its reflection
Shining No more
cracks spread till nothing else was left
And it shattered

Stop

When did your loving whispers stopped
That used to make me smile
When did your eyes stopped following me
That used to me make me blush
When did the laughter stopped
And made ways for tears
When did we stop talking
And started drowning in deafening silence
When did you stop loving me
And I stopped believing you ever did

White Moustache

"Taxi..Taxi", shouted Nilu at a yello-black taxi which almost ran over her. It was early Friday evening and she was in a hurry to get a taxi before it was too crowded to find one. "It's getting harder to catch a Taxi everyday.. ", she muttered to herself while wiping sweat off her eyebrows.

A plain jane, Nilu, was an engineer, like millions of youngsters in the country. She had shifted from Gorakhpur, a small Tier 3 city in Uttar Pradesh to Mumbai - a city of dreams or so it was called. She was still confused about what her dreams were.. let alone achieve them. She was a creative yet confused soul. She liked her job but wanted to do so many things at the same time. She wanted to be a chef, a nomad, a writer, a high flying corporate manager.. all rolled into one.. all this while struggling with tough realities of life in Mumbai.

Friday evening meant fun. The city though trains you hard, provides you with occasional relief in the form of friends… people who form your virtual family in Mumbai, where it’s difficult to support your real one. Nilu was looking forward to the Friday night party at her friend’s place.. booze.. boys and some bitching.. things every young girl loves to indulge in.

It was 25^th of the month and the last beep on her mobile was a reminder of not so great balance in her account. “Five more days to go before I feel rich again..”, Nilu thought while waving her hand frantically at every cab – empty or full. Her pay was not great but it was sufficient for her to survive in the city. She counted her blessings every day when she saw countless people sleeping on the pavement on her early morning walks. Atleast she had a roof on her head though one which drained most of her income.

With her mind full of anticipation, irritation at the heat, anxiety and so much more, she almost collided with the taxi that stopped right infront of her. Without much ado, she opened the door and slid on the back seat. Once she closed the door, she looked at the driver who was patiently looking at her for directions. She saw a wrinkled old face with bright eyes staring at her. The white moustache was pointed, proud and sat gracefully on his face. A hand with thousand creases held the steering wheel while another gently rocked the gear. She exclaimed almost too loud, “Bandra, Uncle”.

The taxi driver-Uncle turned with a slight smile on his face and the taxi smoothly merged into the traffic. Nilu kept fanning herself till she could feel cool breeze on her face. Finally settled in the taxi, she looked absent-mindedly at the rear view mirror and saw hint of a smile beneath the flowing white moustache. Something in the eyes caught her attention and she was intrigued. For a change, she felt like talking to this unknown taxi-driver uncle.

“Since when are you driving in Mumbai Uncle?”, she asked, half expecting a vague answer. The old man replied with a slight crispness in his accent, “Long before you were even born beta, it was 1969.”. “Phew! That was really long ago”, exclaimed Nilu. “How old are you?”, she asked curiously. “I am 78, still strong and young”, replied the taxi-driver uncle with a warm voice. She almost laughed at the candid reply. Suddenly she felt a huge camaraderie with the old taxi driver. Here she was – a working woman in her late twenties, sharing a laugh and some innocent conversations with a 78 years old taxi driver who might as well be her grand-father.

“Wasn’t there very less traffic back in the days?”, she asked with utmost interest. She could imagine empty roads with couple of Fiats being driven at the mere speed of 40Kmph. “Don’t ask Beta, those were the days.. this entire area used to be almost empty. I stayed in a hut in the area nearby and there were no water or electricity or even proper lanes. This area was part of a hill. You had to go up and down to reach Borivili national park. We didn’t prefer picking up passengers plying beyond Bandra as didn’t use to get return fare. The meter started at 13 ps instead of 21 rs that you see now. It was so difficult to make even 50Rs per day. Used to get full tank of petrol in 20 Rs. Those were the days.. ahh”, the sentence ended up in almost a longing.

Nilu observed the man carefully, all the while listening to him. He was an old man, who wore a white crisp shirt frayed at the collar. Though he didn’t look very well to do, he did sound wise. She asked him about his home town and came to know that he was a native of a small village near Gorakhpur. In her imagination, she could already see his big family working in fields in a small village and waiting for his return during harvest. They talked for quite some time about growing inflation, traffic congestions, hardships of life and how difficult it was for a poor man to survive in the city. She even poured her heart out expressing frustration at not finding a decent home with reasonable rent after being asked by the landlord to vacate the house in a month. Taxi driver uncle had lent a sympathetic ear to her rants. Nilu’s heart filled with more and more sympathy for the old man who seemed to be quite lonely and struggling to manage a living by driving in this big city. She could read his struggle in the lines of his face. In her youth, she felt insulated from the harshness of time and yet she was experiencing it full on in the form of old taxi driver uncle.

She reached her destination and checked the meter. It read “80.00”. She took out a crisp 100 Rs note from her purse and said , “Keep the change uncle”. He looked her with a broad smile and said, “Thanks. It was nice talking to you Beta. It was anyways my only ride before I reach home. Oh by the way, if you need a flat or something let me know. I have 6-7 flats here in Mumbai“. He turned the car and swiftly lost himself in the ever growing traffic.